Bad timing

I know with the world cup going on, this will rub some of you in the wrong way (sorry Nikki), but here is reason 51 why I hate soccer:

I mean come on, now this sport has my boys wearing hose. Can they at least attempt to label this part of their uniform something tougher? Maybe not considering the rest of the uniform is called a "kit." Give me a helmut, mouth guard, and some pads, a la hockey and "real" man's football.

Jack doesn't care though. He said, "I look awesome in these stockings." Should I be worried?